Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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