i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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