There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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