Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
