Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
