Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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