Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
