My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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