its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my shit smells like andre
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
