Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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