Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
