If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
