I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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