let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
