I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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