Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
