And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
