You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
