Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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