Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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