I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
