i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
