I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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