just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
