god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
