that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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