Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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