it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
