One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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