Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
