I want to make a zoo with you.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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