she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
