it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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