just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sorry about my life...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
