oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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