I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
