Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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