this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
