How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
