Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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