Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think people are normalizing furries
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
