Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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