I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
