So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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