They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need water and some morals
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
