Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
