This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
