Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
