There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
