Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
